Why I Feel Good! How You Can Too!

Defining my ‘why’ in 2020

I love crafting goals and objectives for myself every year. It helps me envision how I’ll feel on New Year’s Eve, looking back on the year being satisfied and happy with how I spent my time and focused my attention. Some years the goals and objectives take the shape of themes, a couple simple words that provide a directional focus. Other years they are more rigorous SMART goals, that are measurable and planned out. The shape the goals and objectives take each year is purely based on what feels right at the beginning of the year and what my intuition tells me will feel good at the end of the year. And then, at the close of the year, I love looking back seeing how I’ve grown and expanded and experienced through the lens of whatever goals and objectives were set.

In 2020, one of my goals was : Define my ‘why’.

As Simon Sinek points out in his aptly titled book Start with Why, great leaders, successful organizations, and impactful movements have started with defining their ‘why’, defining their purpose, their mission and vision. My desire was to ground myself by documenting my mission statement and being able to articulate my purpose in life, what motivates and inspires me to keep going. This would be the foundation for my “brand” that I could use as a guide for making decisions and contemplating career changes or life transitions.

All year I have pondered my mission, my purpose, my ‘why’. At times, I’ve stressed over it, confused why I couldn’t seem to figure it out, and fearful that maybe I don’t have a ‘why’. Most recently, I’ve been quite anxious about completing this goal as I am on the precipice of making a career change and I thought a perfectly defined ‘why’ is a necessary prerequisite. I was completely stuck.

Then this morning, it came to me. All of a sudden, a lightbulb turned on and the answer fell in my lap!

Why am I here? I am here to feel good!

Whoa! Wait a minute! Can it really be that simple? Isn’t it selfish to feel good?

Actually, YES! It is that simple.

And NO! It is not selfish.

We were given the ability to feel for the purpose of guiding us to what is safe, healthy and up-lifting. If you touch a burning hot pot, you quickly move your hand. If you have a headache, you take an aspirin. If the air stinks, you spray air freshener. If you don’t like the t.v. show, you change the channel. If a thought does not give you joy, you search for one that does! Feeling good is far from selfish. In fact it is the most unselfish thing you can do! When you feel good, you have more to share. When you feel good, others enjoy being with you and feel good too. Good mirrors good. Good expands and multiplies with good.

And in that moment that you aren’t feeling so good, thank that thought and feeling for guiding you to know where you don’t feel joyful and then reach for a thought that is joyful. If it doesn’t seem possible to find a thought that immediately feels joyful, that is ok. Choose the thought that just feels better, just that tiny bit better. And from that place you can choose the next better thought and the next better and next better! You empower yourself by choosing the most joyful thoughts. You disempower yourself by choosing unpleasant thoughts.

Goodness is the natural state of the universe. As a part of the universe, your natural state is goodness. You deserve to feel good. Actually, you have the responsibility to feel good. You are accountable for your feeling good. No one else is accountable for your happiness. YOU are the only one who has the power to impact your feeling good. Only you can choose to react positively or negatively, only you can choose to allow something to anger you or calm you, only you can choose to sink in the quicksand or try to get out.

Although I hadn’t articulated this as my why until this morning, I realize I have actually lived it all year. As COVID seemed to close us down, trap us in the four walls of our home, cut connection with our family, and disrupt travel plans big and small, I consciously chose to place my attention on thoughts and actions that I could take to be the change I wanted to see in the world and allow my intuition and happiness guide the way through the year. I took every opportunity I could to go for a walk with the dog and say hello to my neighbors. My family joyfully filled the weeks we had planned exotic globetrotting trips with New England camping trips with another family we “co-quarantined” with. I enjoyed utilizing the time typically spent commuting to and from work to cook family dinners and get extra rest. I joined painting classes and meditation retreats with teachers from around the globe that were now on zoom. I was inspired to create guided meditation and sound baths on YouTube to share light, love, peace and joy with the world in my own way. With this mindset of always looking for the better feeling thought and action, I experienced and observed so much good in my life and the world around me this year! I created deep and meaningful relationships and participated in the community in a very special way that I would not have otherwise. I feel great and so excited to share this with the world!

The year is completely different than any of us imagined. It wasn’t easy, there were many lows, there was loss, anger and fear. However, at every turn I had the choice to reach for the better feeling thought and the better feeling action. With each better feeling choice, it got better and better, with more and more to share, which felt even better. And as I look back on the year, I have so much to be grateful for and my cup runneth over with joy that I wish to share.

So I ask you, what will you choose today?

And I offer you any assistance you may need to decide what to choose.

Happy Holidays!